Thursday, May 04, 2006


I've been remiss!

Just noticed that it's - ahem - been awhile since my last update.

Good thing no-one reads this, or I'd feel bad.


I'd like someone to explain what is so difficult about driving. I've been doing it for over 30 years now, and it seems that drivers are getting worse and worse.

This isn't really a function of my age. I drive pretty much the way I always have, usually within spitting distance of the speed limit and pretty easy. I mean, I don't tailgate and I try not to drive on the wrong side of the road and I usually stay off the sidewalks. Sounds good, right?

Situation 1 -

In the course of my day, I may feel the urge to pass once or twice. Since I have been driving the same routes for some years now, I know all the best places to pass, and when I do I use the "swoop method," as my wife calls it. That is, since I follow a safe distance behind the car I'm about to pass, I can get a good run and overtake at speed, therefore spending the least time in the opposite lane as possible.

As I generally drive underpowered and/or antiquated junk, the pull out and drag race method doesn't quite cut it.

This works well, unless you get some loon who drives watching his rear view mirror and feels obligated to screw everything up. Maybe he's worried that you might tag him, or maybe it just pisses him off that someone might be in a bigger hurry. Regardless, this maroon will inevitably either hit his brakes, throwing the timing of the pass off, or accelerate to prevent the pass.

The other day, I pulled this maneuver on a car that was travelling about 60 in a 55. Natch, he was upset that I passed him and latched onto my bumper at 70 mph and stayed there the rest of the way into town. I guess it didn't occur to the guy that if he had been driving 70 I wouldn't have passed him?

Now I have a question. Why would he be upset? Surely he can't be mad because I was exceeding the speed limit, as HE was exceeding the speed limit.

Enquiring minds want to know.

Situation 2 -

This is a phenomenon I've noticed mostly with women. I can generally guess the sex of a driver by the way they overtake and pass.

Or don't.

I'm driving along at about 60-65 and this little Grand Am looking car is coming up on me pretty quick. It overtakes me - in a passing zone - gets within a car length of my bumper and weaves back and forth like a drunk.

You guessed it. She - by now I CAN TELL it is a she - can't decide whether she wants to pass or not. There isn't a soul on the horizon and this idiot tails me for 3 miles through a couple more passing zones and stays put. I've sat in the passenger seat while my pulls this exact stunt. What is the problem here?

Once I was following my daughter home (she had no idea I was behind her) and she did this TO A COP!

Not enough testosterone to get 'er done, or what?

That's it for today. Nothing earth shattering.

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